Keeping Personal Time Sacred

On the heels of our ‘Dating Your Spouse’ article I would now like to talk about another important time management point for married and partnered couples.  And that is, having time set aside for what YOU want to do.  For example, my wife works out for an hour with her friends at the gym every Monday and soon to be every Wednesday.  I’m looking into getting into a golf league once a week and also about once a month I spend time at a watering hole with ‘the boys’.  During this time the spouse that stays home makes all the dinner, does the clean up and bedtimes and basically handles all the chores that are otherwise shared or handled by your spouse.  This will not only make your spouse happy but it will make you realize all of the little things that get done without your help.  This helps to create an additional appreciation for your spouse which in turn creates a healthier marriage. 

Now why is having special time with your friends all that important?  I’m not a psychologist but I’d have to think that it’s very significant that we all realize that there is life outside of our families and relationships.  As a society we must come to the realization that it is okay for us to let our hair down and have fun with our friends without the worry and guilt of what going on at home.  We must appreciate that as much as we want our spouse to spend time at home and work around the house that it will be a much better atmosphere if we can rid ourselves of the constant stuffiness of thinking that we have to be at home all the time.  Of course our family comes first and foremost, but if we don’t take care of our own needs from time to time the stress and rigor of life will cause discontent, regret and perhaps and early demise.

We all need our freedoms, no matter how short and/or small they may seem.  We all need a release and a time away from our family, plus I think that this time away helps us think of what we have waiting for us at home and how much they mean to us.  Do yourself a favor and find a hobby or something fun to do.  I suggest doing it with other adults but if you prefer solo time than that is okay too.  Here’s one caveat, do NOT make your alone time a place that your family can walk to like a shed, detached garage, barn, etc.  It’s important to get away so that there is no chance that your special time gets interrupted and that it remains intact.  Also, make sure you understand that your spouse needs this time as well and not just you because you think that you work harder or that you need it more.  This personal time will help keep your relationship strong and fresh and stop it from getting into a rut in the first place.  After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?