This is a continuation of what makes a happy marriage. In part I we covered building fond memories and reminiscing about them together. Also covered in part one was making a point to smile and laugh a lot together. The world is a serious place, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be loose and have fun. So is that it? Of course not, there are many factors that lead to your dream marriage and we will cover a couple more of them in this chapter. The following, along with part I, is what we’ve found makes couples happy together. Remember, these are not all inclusive points and these things are not what will make every marriage a happy one. These are simply observations we have made concerning the traits of happy couples, pieces of a puzzle.
Question, what impresses most women and makes them gaga and gets guys ‘lucky’ that particular day? What impresses men and makes them feel good and loved even though they are too stubborn to admit that they like it? Answer, when we remember dates that is special to one another and we go out of our way in order to make that date special for the other person. We all know that women love this; you see it everyday on one talk show or another or by listening to women talk about who forgot what and how sweet someone remembered something, but men like it as well. For instance, I like that my spouse thinks of our relationship so highly that she wants to celebrate every miles stone that the relationship gods have to offer. My wife is impressed that I can remember the exact date, place, time and what we had to drink on our first official date thirteen+ special years ago. She also loves the fact that I treat that date as an anniversary every year and make her feel extra special in my life. The point is that we all have times that we cherish together and we should feel good about the special dates in our lives and celebrate those days with fond memories and laughs. When we forget about the special dates and/or no longer celebrate those days we risk the perception that we no longer care or cherish the special times that our relationship has represented over the passage of time.
50 Secrets Of Blissful Relationships
There are many times where the day ends and couples adjourn to their separate places in the home to do whatever it is that they feel like doing. This is fine and we all need our alone time here and there. The problem is that once we make this a routine we forget about the needs of the other person and it no longer becomes a we household but a ‘what do I want/need’ household. Other times couples get caught up going out too much or hanging out with friends all of the time. While these acts alone and/or in moderation are healthy getting into a routine of not emphasizing the importance of your spouse is not healthy. The key point here is to make each other most important. This can be accomplished quite simply by asking yourself “what would make my husband/wife happy right now”. This is putting your spouse ahead of your favorite television show or the computer or your friend at the Pub. This is contingent on paying attention to your spouses feelings and recognizing the signs that they need you right now, whether it be someone to talk to in order to blow off steam or just to sit next to and hold hands while watching a movie even though it is your night to go out with friends. No matter how put off you may feel look at your spouse and recognize their need for you and make them the most important person in your life. Life and especially marriage is not always about you…the quicker you realize this the happier your life and your marriage will be.
There you have it. Two more brief examples of what I’ve seen looking at happily married couples. Just a side note here, the couples that I profile are young and old alike. These traits on not age specific but they are specific in generating a loving and happy relationship from onset to sunset. Until next time, grab some popcorn and start the DVR.
In healthy mutually satisfying and successful relationships, partners have discovered ways to fulfill their individual goals within their relationship. I’d like to think of it this way. 1 whole happy person + 1 whole happy person = 1 whole happy incredible relationship. ½ an unhappy person + ½ another unhappy person = 2 unhappy halves. In the ½ + ½ relationship, there are likely to be two despondent unfulfilled co-dependent enmeshed people who are so entwined that they are a drain on each other.