Continue reading Stay At Home Mom Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world.  I realize what my wife does when I’m home all day and see what goes on.  I often ask her how she does it and how she hasn’t lost her sanity yet.  There are many stay at home moms but how many are actually happy?  I asked my wife what she does that makes her so happy because I know that she would love to be back out in the business world.  These are lessons from my wife.

Have adult interaction on a regular basis.  Talking on the phone to your friends is great but see them in person if possible.  At the very least, small conversations can be therapeutic.  Also, call your spouse once or twice a day and every once in awhile talk dirty to them, it helps keep the spice in your life and keeps the marriage fresh.  Set up play dates with other mothers so the kids can play and you can converse.  If that can’t happen much walk through the mall sans kids just so you can be around other adults.  My wife actually likes to grocery shop without the kids.  Your spouse should can watch the kids when they get home sometimes so you can go out and do things by yourself.  When you do have to go out with the kids make sure you have an ipod or something with songs that you like.  It’s okay to play kids music from time to time because its fun hearing them sing but giving them toys to play with in the car while you listen to your own music is even better.

Teach the kids what mom time is and take a few minutes throughout the day to enact it.  The kids will learn to respect your time (somewhat).  Mom time can also be shower time for you; my wife tells me she does her best thinking there.  During kid time act goofy and play like them sometimes, they’ll love it and the laughter will be awesome.  Another activity the kids actually like is moving the furniture around.  This teaches them input and possibly some style.  Either way, they enjoy it and it mixes things up a bit.

Get away from constant children activities.  Even though they take up most of your time, go to bed a little earlier so you can get up earlier to do things.  My wife likes to get up and exercise everyday.  It helps her focus, gets the blood flowing and makes her happy because that’s what she likes to do.  Having younger children, she usually has an hour or two mid days during naptime as well.  This is the time she uses to surf the internet, read the paper/magazine, and watch what she wants to watch without it being a cartoon.  All the other shows she likes and misses gets DVR’d until the kids’ bedtime.

Unless there is a spill, there is no sense in cleaning up every little mess throughout the day.  First, teach kids how and where to put things away.  When you clean up find a time to do it once.  Have the kids clean up with you so they understand responsibility.  While we are on responsibility, let your kids pick out their own clothes to wear, especially if you’re not going out anywhere special.  This gives you the chance to watch them express themselves and sit back and smile at their creativity.

Even though my wife would like to return to paycheck world she values what she does and has never regretted her decision to be a stay at home mom.  Kids are only kids for a short period of time.  Relax, enjoy playing with them, teaching them and watching them just be kids.  Most importantly, smile and laugh every chance you get.

Continue reading Special Kid Time Everyone likes to go on trips and do activities as a family.  It is usually fun and builds strong family memories.  Although this is very important we must also realize that good parenting depends on building strong bonds with each individual child as well.  This not only establishes trust but it also creates unbreakable bonds between a parent and their child.  The key first step is trying to figure out what each child likes to do with you.

Every child has their thing that they love to do with you and a parent can usually tell what it is just by watching what happens when you try to do that activity with them and the other children (or spouse) want in too.  Usually it turns into a fit of some sort.  Now if you have an only child figuring this all out may be easier.  Before we started having kids year after year, I pretty much new what our child like to do with me and which activities he liked to do with my spouse.  Of course as your children grow older their activities evolve, but take solace in the fact that there is always something that your child likes to do with just you…after all, it’s your time together.  Just remember, try and get them at an early age because then when they start growing they will progress to other activities with you naturally and they won’t feel uncomfortable or ‘weird’ about doing things with you like teenagers tend to feel and act.

As important as it is for you to find something you and your child can relate too is the importance of having a spouse that doesn’t get jealous or snippy about it.  It is bad enough to have other children biding for time, we definitely don’t need our spouse upset about leaving them out of something.  Your spouse must be made aware of the significance of individual activities and time with each child.  I’m sure in the reasoning process an example or two can be brought up of how they have their time as well, even if they don’t realize it yet.

The main point of this is to not only find time for your children, but to find time for each individual child.  In today’s hustle and bustle world we tend to glob everyone and everything together; this is not always a good thing.  If you take the time to build individual bonds you will find that you will have a stronger love, respect and mutual admiration for each other for the rest of your lives.